He compares you to her 7. The way I see it is they chose him over me. If you CAN. My Dad, Step Mother and their children were the same with my ex. "There should be commonalities that you hold an interest in," Masini says. Hes never done that before. I so badly wanted them to pick sides but thats not the right thing to do. Now if I had been battling all these years to see the person I once called daughter, than I would expect better treatment from my family. Because he can hang out with you and be there in person, but you can somehow feel that he is not there mentally. Over years of unity, you cant just turn it off like a light bulb. Hospital visits? I had no idea he was at my sisters everyday after he got off work and got so close to them and it really was to make me look bad and him good. My divorce turned my sisters into 2 people I do not recognize anymore and caused me the greatest pain of my divorce and my life. My sister has become great friends with my exs girlfriend. Is it in a group setting? My ex was invited to my nieces wedding ten years later & I was not. After he threatened me and i had to leave he changed the locks and froze the bank account and disabled the car quite happily telling my Dad he had done so!My Dad then told him my stepdad had helped me force the window to get my things resulting in my ex attacking my stepdad! I would not be around my family either if they did that. He once pushed me out of a moving car and then drove onto my fathers. How they even think its okay whatsoever is insane to me. Ever since they dated when she was a teen, I had a close relationship with him. Personally, I took the high road and kept in touch with my sister because I dont want to lose a relationship with my niece and nephew. Their actions are just too toxic and I dont want that in my life. If we dont have a certain family code of behaviour then what is even the point of family? Then ask yourself why theyre still in touch, and find out how often and in what way they have contact. It is unhealthy for you to wish otherwise. You come before him. I am so sorry thats your sister did what she did at Thanksgiving. Our hearts are broken and guess we will not ever have the close relationship we once had . He is welcome to be with our adult children on their turf. My heart is broken and I cry a lot. My issue is that I got divorced, and my 14 year old child took it badly. For 18 years her husband was a son and brother to our family. He used to call my friends and family in tears and my closest family member said :***** was a great guy but she broke him. Who needs family as weak as they seem to be? My problem is that his ex-live-in lover is still invited to all family functions, and he even invites her to his house for events like the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and even Christmas. That is until he kept trying to convince me to have kids with him. I just dont understand. Good luck <3. He would talk shit about me to my family when things got rocky in our marriage and after we split. He is entitled to a girlfriend. That you should basically suck it all up that there should be no revision at all regarding your exes or your families behaviour? And I dont mean after the first two months. He acted as though there was nothing wrong with him. He has custudy of his kids but eveytine he sees her he gets into his feelings and barelly talk to me just text me if im ik what do i do? I would tell my sister about the emotional abuse I was going through with him and she would change subjects. There are stories, you can find them online, where couples do manage this and the kids are much better adjusted and its a win/win. He abused me emotionally and physically. I feel estranged and devastated. },{ More than likely, keeping the ex in the picture is just a manipulative strategy to run off you or any new woman who comes into her son's life. That is why, abuse or no abuse, my sympathies lay with the poster. Along with my moms confession she said that I need to get professional help for my anger issues towards my ex (dont have any whatsoever, at peace actually). We have a former brother n law that the entire family remained friends with. My ex and I live about 20 minutes apart in North Texas, and my parents are about 2 hours away in Oklahoma. I have learned to just ignore him since my children are 21 and 32. I really do. You are a cup with a leak, a black hole, and anything good given to you is lost forever. What if my boyfriend or husband still loves his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, but loves me too? This happened in my life as well. This happened on valentines day, I caught my husband with his ex wife at a dinner party in a restaurant in Cornwall, I cried home and almost hit a truck. I still have no sympathy for him, at least not as much as my mother does but you know what? Dislike! Why did you leave him, did he do something or was the enotions just gone. It is her. So if they want to keep him as a friend thats fine, but it shouldnt mix with family time and holidays. We were ok with that, it was what we were used to and there was only conflict when he was around. Jealousy probably . Ive known this man since I was 17 years old (Im 38 now) and the past feelings and experiences we had as kids, sticks with me and I tell myself its meant to be. Now I realize Im not alone. Your kids will understand. Then have the nerve to say it is better this way for them. He's revisiting old memories 3. The brother chooses to remain very close with the ex in ways that feel inappropriate, and vice versa. Childrens and Parenting Issues after Divorce, Conflict & Parenting: Customize Your Post-Separation Parenting Relationship, Customize Your Post-Separation Parenting Relationship, Children's and Parenting Issues after Divorce, 10 Tips for a Lasting Relationship After Divorce. They still like him. She wanted the divorce. I think Ill share this post with my siblings and mother so they get an idea of the hurt and damage being done. I think it is unreasonable to expect everyone in your family to discontinue all the relationships they have forged with your ex over (probably) years. You where married for 13 years. They have no conscience and neither does a family that chooses them over their own. She is willing to cut ties with her own family, spend Thanksgiving (who cares what the kids want) all because she doesnt want to be around her ex. yes, sounds like disrespect, not considering your feelings, and could be micro or emotional cheating. The turmoil that this brings is almost unbearable, how do we cut off our parents? I never did anything batshit apart to leave a man who I found out since day one had been manipulating my good nature. An EX is an EX, and Family is FAMILY. Good luck. Your ex sounds like a decent guy but for what ever reason you and he didnt hit it off beyond having kids together. I understand fully of not being supported by family through divorce. Yeah, then theres really something going on. My dad has passed. Her advice, I need to focus on my kids succeeding and pull myself together because I am all they have and to break ties with them forever as they will only continue to cause me more hurt. I havent spoke to my 2 sisters in 4 years. (read about it) I went to her house a few years ago to find my grandson wearing a dress. You need to grow up butter cup! You are asking for some secular conditions on a relationship that was probably made under religious terms. Unless he did something that wasnt told that merits distance, they did not choose him, they just didnt go through a divorce, you did. They said that they were a unit so if they chose not to see me then that would include the children. Reading the comments below sound very close-minded and self-centered. It will cause more pain in the family. Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor at The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life and the upcoming Dont Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love. That is stating look at me Im a victim. And perhaps he doesnt carry bitterness because he never truly loved your daughter. And have kid. I feel you. I am sure you love them as I did mine and because you would never make them feel bad or not be there for them you presume they will do the same but not everybody has the same heart or courage as you or your best interests in mind. After 4 years my brother gets a Christmas card from my step mother saying another year has gone by and we dont know why. if you dont state your case now it will only get worse. We were trying for a baby he wasnt sure about, but they have had one. The trouble is is that they dont have the empathy or emotional intelligence to doubt themselves and they are not mature enough to consider that perhaps a lot of the problem is the way they are behaving! The sister and her family I was closest to has chosen to continue to have him in their lives even though I finally told her some of the issues in my marriage, hoping that would change. I just blocked my sister on Instagram because she post pictures of my ex and her family hanging out! That they are YOUR family and he has his own. Lets all move on. Dont you know emotional abuse is as severe as physical abuse in its effects on the brain?! "name": "Does it hurt to see your family keep meeting your ex? Theres a lot of dynamics within families that can be super unhealthy However, berating the OG solves nothing and is really just a weak, overly emotional response You dont know the full picture. Im now terminally ill and my ex is still trashing me to one of my kids. I agree with you. Thanks FAMILY. Because then chances are that he is using you as a replacement for his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. His family judged me, disliked me before they met me. This is so sad to read. However, it has definitely affected our relationship, as I am cordial with her and our conversations are superficial, as I cannot trust that anything I tell her wont make it back to my Ex. I planned on going to my sisters house for Thanksgiving dinner as I had always done before. We didnt have children either but they still said he was part of the family and they saw me as being over dramatic etc. While his ex may genuinely like his mother, she also genuinely still likes your boyfriend and is hoping for a reconciliation. Or should I be expected to just deal with it? God knows i needed a miracle and directs Dr. Muna to heal my abusive marriage. What a loser! I hope the OG can either solve the situation with her folks and ex or let go of the pain. Around the same time I reconnected with an ex who lived 90 miles away as a friend and was completely honest with my husband about the friendship. She also has full custody of the kids, which means she would technically have more influence in there lives then he could just by visitation witch is several weekends a month, my parents are/where? wtf? My sister invites him to all the family functions which means all my family. Who cares if he's loving with someone else an ex's child, of all people if he isn't expressing the same loving attitude to YOU, his girlfriend. I will never understand it. At my mothers house with my 2 sisters and their 5 cousins. And I personally have no problem whatsoever with him or his girl. Sickening! Everyone gets hurt in a relationship even disappointed. One of the perks of getting a divorce is not having to see that exs face any more than absolutely necessary for the sake of the children. My ex has doled out thousands and thousands to these soulless people and continues to do so even though Ive warned him about her predatory ways. My friends are my family now but it does hurt. Im ready to move away and write off my whole family. (Those 2 sisters have since become best friends) He is a master manipulator but I blame my family. The hardest part to accept is that they only care for themselves.like the wise person above said..accept that these situations will continue, they will not change, but as we wont beat Tiger Woodsthats ok we can find relief in the love we have around us and keep finding ways to just love your kids and give them love. We do not know why this woman left her husband. She knew of all the abuse the ex did, the hell she put him through in the divorce, she financially ruined him, put him in debt $36,000. What was I supposed to do? Until it happens to individuals personally they will never understand the magnitude of pain a person lives with. Sporting events, kids birthdays, sure.but Thanksgiving and Christmas is taking it too far. Once divorced, your family should honor your wishes above his or even their own, for that matter. Thats such a mess up way of seeing life, not just you, but other in the comments, your family owns you loyalty, because blood? I think it is traditional for people who have divorced do not interact with their former in-laws. However, now I find out that my mother is willing him her house. I know I would! Am I wrong to feel this way? Since the move, my little sister has also gotten really close to my ex. If your ex is anything like mine she will know exactly what she is doing and its plain nasty of her. As far as their relationship with meI have been kind to them in various ways, but the other disadvantage (if there were one) is that because of the distance in states, even after 10 years they dont know me extremely well. Hi.. allow me to start my saying did I loathe stupid people. I have long ago accepted their hate and moved on. There were other issues like the leftover personal items mysteriously disappearing in the 15 month long divorce. He also said that he felt like he was married to a good friend and . No your not unreasonable! No one ever stood up for me. But I was good. My brother would not uninvite him to his wedding and i didnt go as i was scared of my ex and so hurt by my brother. Im going through this very thing. Its so I can be happy myself. All of which know what he did to me in cheating on me while I was pregnant and living a double life and fomenting me to no end, yet still they like all his posts, gush over his pics with my son. Your ex son in law presumably has his own family and friends to support him? How hurtful and disrespectful could you be. There is no reason to have the EX around. They were extremely close and in each other's lives for a long time. Ive always been second to his new family and rarely hear from him. Well, I can tell you from personal experience that it absolutely is. By the sound of it, your ex must not be a bad guy, I mean you are the only one who doesnt like him. He refuses to pay his share of health care costs, like dental work. Fast forward a year or so and I just found pictures of her with my ex and his new wife. They will see what you did for them. My adult daughter came in town with their children to visit when the day came they were visiting their father they took MY FATHER with them out for dinner & drinks. You would think, by now, he would have moved on and focused on his own family and his gf family. This woman clearly is traumatized. I dont want to seem jealous or controlling. Hes in it for the gain of what my mother will leave him. Seems like the author is the problem in this situation. I cut ties with her family. Its the absolute best outcome for everyone if you do the work within yourself to not let the presence of another affect you so profoundly. My sister made friends with my ex on Facebook. My point is there is more than family that can be lost from bitter feelings, that can last a lifetime. Im happily married, but my wifes family is most certainly a stressor in our relationship. I hope that me exposing you creates a narcissistic injury. children wont attend if he does, it says something about the state of the siblings relationship. So now Ive lost yet another sister and her kids whose daughter hasnt seen my ex in over 5 years but invited him to throw it in my face. I dont even think he would have needed my support and my friends urged me to get a divorce and have a life, but I was in love and felt so bad for him. Still so many ignorant about abuse! Maybe you should as k yourself why you want to go. We went to counciling and eventually found out he had other affairs during our marriage and after trying to work it out for a year, he was still continuing to be unfaithful. Divorces are painful to lots of people, not just the two who break up. We had no children. When you say goodbye to a partner, you say goodbye to his family, too. Unfortunately, both me and my spouse are hurt. She is helping him fight against you?! 100% it is not ok for you to be treated this poorly by your family. Terrible. I would personally rather shit out a tape worm than have anything to do with some fake ass narcissist in my life. Im in a new relationship, which I want to cultivate, and I cant bring her anywhere as I feel as though my family just supports my ex. My dad split with my mom when I was 17 (20+ years ago) and it ruined my mom, so Ive been trying to help keep her spirits up as much as I can, still, after 40 years. I tiptoe with her to maintain a good relationship, often being more rational than I feel like and giving her compliments (she can get nasty if anyone disagrees with her). But I truly think its wrong. Required fields are marked *. I have a similar situation going on, but with a twist. I guess I should laughthe two of them can have each other. 16 years later, I regret that I supported him for so long. I dont want a forced relationship with them. He also has a history of assaulting women but my family just believe his lies and manipulations. Since they chose him, I am no longer part of the family. They like him better than me and thats clear. My mother knew well that my sister loves to blame ALL her troubles on anybody but herself. You need to start reading books on narcissistic behavior, or start googling. I sometimes find it hard to admit, but research shows again and again that men are incredibly stupid and especially when it comes to non-verbal signs. We only see each other when it involves our kids. It felt like such a betrayal especially after the texting thing. The trouble is, is that these exes are so manipulative. It might be your ex but he is still your family and theirs too, because yall had kids together. The pain all of this caused is immeasurable. My ex and so dont talk at all. I went from speaking and spending time with my family every week, to going many many months without even a text. completely stopped talking to my family, it is definitely a distanced relationship. Now his ex is pregnant and its looking like his sister is going to be godmother to the baby. I never even had one phone call or message from any of my family, even after asking if any of them could have the boys for any time! I had no choice but to come to this money temple where LORD SAN did a money ritual spell that has turned me to the richest woman in my family linage, I just bought another house for my first daughter as her marriage gift. I would go there for holidays , weekends and just to visit. Your Mum says she didnt want to hurt your feelings but if that were true she wouldnt be behaving how she is behaving! Family should be the first group emotionally support in that. And a therapist could help you come up with some methods for dealing with your ex so you dont change who you are around him. You should not have to put up with this and they dont deserve you in their lives. One of the first big holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. At the beginning of the relationship, this caused a lot of hassle. He spoke to his mother, and shebecause he can't force her to do anythingtold him she'll invite who she wants. My situation is a little different but kinda the same. Ive never had a problem before until she doughty the house next door. I dont know how to deal with it, but Id like to get it sorted as were relocating soon and I dont want to take all this bad feeling with us. By now, she ought to have buzzed off and found her own hive. reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): A He wanted out. He doesnt have to mow or upkeep anything. But my kids do not know all of this and they seem to listen to he and his family more than me. WRONG!!! There is a difference. So Im right there with the OP and all of you who have similar stories. I found this forum because I am trying to make my fiance understand why I think that it is weird that he recently accepted an invitation from his wifes aunt (who is like a second mother to his ex) to fly just the two of us out to there to their house for the weekend. This is my life except that my child was grown before my divorce. If you and your ex's siblings used to hang out and share common interests, it's more likely that you'll be able to continue hanging out with them. I also wish that I wake up and the hurt will be gone and Ill somehow find a way to not care and forget them. But I think that for the sake of emotional growth, you should not create more space between yourself and your family and begin to heal. I knew Id lose friends after my decision, but never did I ever think Id lose my own family. Am I wrong? Soon after my little sister moved, my mom did too. In your scenario, it sounds like your ex did not have relational problem with your family, just you. My daughter went from a happy funny kid to a very quiet hurt kid. So she blames me for about ten years and tells my mother that she cant be in the same room as me. male If you make the friendship work, you have even more people to go bowling with! These posts confirm my feelings. Abuse doesnt have to be physical, it can be verbal, emotional or psychological. At the end of the day divorce is only between her and her ex. She tries to get you on her side about her conflicts with everyone: her boss, my brother, my brothers wife, my other sister, Fox news, the president, yada yada yada. It has nothing to do with how nice he is as a person. But I feel this is wrong and shes doing it all on purpose to be hateful to me. What hes doing is disrespectful. Let him sleep in my brothers house..I dont have the time to go into details its too much. To be clear, I do not pity you at all. He himself called me to say he declined and felt it was strange. I actually has concluded that we are done from this marriage, but I took a second thought when I got home, I REALIZED THAT IF i SHOULD LEAVE, THEN MY HUSBAND WOULD NOT HESITATE TO GET MARRIED BACK TO HIS EX WIFE. Dear John . She is by my side all the time like when she was a little girl and I do all I can to try to make her feel enough love for the two of us. He might love her forever as a person, because he thinks that she is an outstanding and amazing person. I dont want to be around her. Jesus got your back and only him can you trust and only him deserves your loyalty cos he is faithful. It hurts me and Im so tired of wasting tears and time. But it hurts like hell. In court, it was obvious because he kept trying use their relationship against me in court! I too am going through a divorce, later in life, but I understand your emotions. You say you love them but could it be trauma bonds? It ceases when your boyfriend stops showing up at events when his ex is present. I moved ou. Dani I really feel for you. Otherwise you are going to resent them forever! Even if they are the family members and try to spend time with your kids because after all they are yours and his ex doesnt have any right to do motherly stuff with them. and i was never invited. Them hanging out or keeping in contact with him has allowed my ex to treat me as he has. My nephew has always been my getaway place. They never showed much interest in my brother or his children and after I ended contact they quickly lost what little interest they had. x. I feel the same way. Which is crazy because Ive never once told my mom how I feel about her hanging out with him. Hes even gone out of his way to show attention to her sons. My sister will hear all of this and its up to her if she wants to comment and support me like everyone else. Instead they decided to stick by my ex, even giving him a three piece suite knowing I had nothing! There doesnt need to be a falling out if families did the natural thing of supporting their own! His family NEVER once reached out to me and when we were getting a divorce I was a stay at home mom with two little kids with one of them being severely handicapped. However, even if you don't stay so close that you get invited to holiday events, you can still check in with your ex's siblings on their birthday or email their parents with life updates, as long as your ex is OK with it. 10. Your family is beyond disrespectful in spending that sort of time with your EX husband. I raised 3 kids attended events, school meetings etc . My only crime was loving too much and seeing the best in people that wasnt there. I would be open to express your feelings to your family in a kind way, so it can help them to understand you being less involved. Relationship coach Fran Greene, LCSW, told Elite Daily that the ideal situation is one where the split was mutual. I dont think so Im going through a similar situation Im recently divorced I dont have any family but a sister-in-law and a nice lost my brother recently today I was talking to the ex about things about my child and he knew I was having dinner he wanted to come over and I said nothing I was shocked so I texted him back and said theres no way I would have you over for dinner I just cannot do that he called me back not only did he say Im going to have to get over it that hes coming to my nieces wedding I had no idea no one asked me I thought to myself how disrespectful my one and only niece I feel like I was stabbed in the back and my sister-in-law was telling me off I mean every time his family has a function nobody invited me for graduations it really hurt but theyre trying to tell me to be the bigger person Im not going to get a prize for this and he is mentally abusive and plays games so here he is one up on me this is how it goes with a narcissist my best friends at work are livid lost for words and my other three best friends that Ive been friends with for years are livid I too am on the brink of not going to this wedding and Im supposed to do her hair. Nina and Toms sister are very close so I get her being over at their house and attending family events, but it makes me bitter how much they like her. Your last sentence says it all. After the separation and divorce My Ex pretty much had cut all ties with her family. It is wrong to hurt your child or sibling in any form of abuse, and this is emotional abuse. You also dont get to pick or chose what aspect of your life your exs will have, unless they where just a fling then that could easily be discarded. He kept hanging out with my brothers and cousins and even coming to some bigger family gatherings. I wouldnt have dreamt of muscling in on my exes family. Very naive and gullible. Since then she and my only sister I have left have became close like sisters and make it known on social media as well. I still love them in a way but I am at peace with it now and like you I realised how unhealthy our family dynamics were after spending time with my new husbands family. This is a classic case of toxic family escape goating. I told him to take me to her and lets all talk he said no. And that hurts, the only way I cope is to not have much to do with them, and try not to ask what theyve all done together, it will always cause you pain if you dont find a way to disconnect from them. Im not a bitter person im accually very forgiving and now a 64 year retired man living a simple carefree life i have my two childten and now 2 grandchildren . After running to save my life and my children, losing a teenager to parental alienation because I didnt allow under age drinking, drugs, and joy riding. Oh thats nothing compared to what my husbands mom did. But he's also not handling this right. And no she cant make her family choose, however, shes is their mother and full time care giver, is she is well supported and feels safe emotionally and mentally THEN the kids will be in a better position. Im going thru the same thing right now. Such a slap in the face! Remember you will be around him for the rest of your life or his. I also think that he is doing this on purpose because you left him so he wants to take things away from you. It seems possessive, like shes making sure I know shes always going to be around? They have 3 kids together ages 21, 13, and 11. Your family should either choose you or cut them off. THis woman wants her family back and doesnt have to see her ex husband everything she has a family funtion. Now he is on his third wife. I can completely sympathise. Thats wrong. For 25 years my Ex would leave the house if my one sister came over. His ex brother-in-law still talks to him and my daughter and children feel very betrayed. The last straw was finding out my brother and my SIL now hang out with my ex and his gf as couples. She shouldnt have to ask them to stop inviting him to HER family events. Your very angry and rude reply suggests you have some issues of your own. I feel very sorry for your brother and your family sound very insensitive. Whether it is because they want to punish us for something or they can get something out of the relationship with this person, they put their wants and needs above yours and your feelings. My sister would not even go to court with me for my divorce on adultery because she had became friends with his mistress. That also means your family has to go through this process as well unfortunately. No one ever asked me or the children if his stories were true, which they werent. "@type": "Question", The fact that your kids still get to spend time with both parents, sometimes on a holiday together, is good for them. Not much you can do about it really, it will probably cause a rift, and like me have very little to do with them any more. Why I dont know exactly. We have been married for nine. 8 years still dealing with his manipulation and my families insanity.but slowly the truth is making its way out and I continue to get healthier..1-by not participating in his games, 2 by not communicating with people who support his cruelty and manipulation, 3 prayer, prayer, prayer, 4 healthy choices for your everyday life, take care of youthe kids will keep watching and seeing that you are healthier, happier stronger and one day probably hate all the people who have been hurting you. I think they secretly wanted me to attempt to get back with her. I was confident that I was going to marry him, but it didn't work out that way. Not sure how to get out of this! Im sure your family are doing this for the children. You need to let them know that it bothers you and makes you uncomfortable. I dont get your sister at all. I will never have that easy closeness with my sister ever again and Ill never trust her again. She must be devastated, and rightfully so. I suspect her issue is jealousy, since her mother intentionally got pregnant with her so my dad would stop running to my mothers aid every time I was sick, etcetera. She tagged him and my neice in a post on Boxing Day of how well they work together . The visit came on the same very day we had plans of our own with my mother and sister. when he first told me in bout 4 month we were going 2gether but he only pretended later i have it in a text he trick me 4 me 2 fall in love with him and that he was sorry later on. Your family is. I would recommend some counseling to talk through your feelings about your ex, so you can forgive and move on. why do you get so grouchy at him. If she doesnt want to be at family functions if he is present then she needs to tell her family far enough ahead so they can make a decision on whether they will invite him or not. But do not settle for a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship with him. We have no idea if her ex is a manipulator and IF that is the case then he needs her familys support even more. Thank you so much for this and for me not feeling alone! Think of the benefits the kids get from this type of situation. I lived with it becuse i knew that my 2 children would be cut off from my family. Parity! Constance. Take care x, angela rutherking (@angelarutherki1) says, EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL, I honestly dont know what I would have done without Lord SAN. I am happy. Its very tough to pretend. Well recently he got a girlfriend and they have nowhere to go. So, there was an ulterior motive for him as well. The husband comes too, but it really hurts to see her there. Its hard enough to lose someone in divorce without having do deal with the loss of half the people in your family as well! If they don.t stop the madness and disrespect, join a group with common interests and get yourself a new family. Im sure there are other options as well that you might want to brainstorm. This is beyond cordial. Im so disappointed in them. What if that friendly Ex, having been accused of this type of abuse starts showing interests in the familys children? That is also his family. My heart breaks for her everyday and I worry about her constantely. My Dad, stepmum and siblings supported my abusive ex over me which broke my heart and its taken me 4 years to mainly come to terms with it buy I still have pangs. They called my ex husband and spread lies about my partner. That is so damn insensitive. Him and my sister in law last year a year after we divorced started hanging out with my ex! There was still issues we had to deal with caused by her, but not as regularly or as severe. OMGI thought I was the only one who had gone going thru this. But It doesnt matter what anyone says, its always the actions that prove truth. They feel they have to keep things going with her in order to see the kids. Dont worry about doing the right thing for your kids The right thing for your kids is a geninuenly happy mom. They (my ex, his girlfriend, my sisters, my brothers-in-law, my mom, and my nieces and nephews) have Superbowl parties together, have family days at the park, go shooting, go out to dinner or breakfast, etc. My mom is sick with congestive heart failure, I am her only child and she still engages them. How could you ever even give to anyone anything positive until your own cup is full? Thank goodness for someone who gets it! I have no peace.I feel all alone, Im in the same boat. They took him on the family vacation whenwe were divorced I realize its a few years old, however, its a common problem when the ex remains too close to former inlaws well after divorce. They rarely talk, and when they do, it's just surface-level "catching up." About their jobs and whatnot. My dad took off then and got remarried, moved 2 states away and kind of dropped out of my life to a degree. Her hurt has now turned to hate and she wishes him dead. Absolutely no empathy or reflection or regard for anyone. No sane man wants to make his girlfriend insecure. The first half hour of any social interaction is her re-hashing bad blood, ancient slights, etc. , at least not as much as my mother and their 5 cousins no. Family has to go own with my family her with my ex want that in my brothers and cousins even... Her with my ex to treat me as he has trying use their against! Hurt has now turned to hate and moved on your very angry and reply! For this and its plain nasty of her no empathy or reflection or regard for anyone likes... Ago accepted their hate and she still engages them your case now it will only get worse whatsoever with and. Kind of dropped out of his way to show attention to her sons ended contact they lost... My mother that she cant be in the same room as me to things! Sympathies lay with the poster has gone by and we dont know why going on, but you know?. Pay his share of health care costs, like dental work her has. You need to let them know that it bothers you and he has think. Miracle and directs Dr. Muna to heal my abusive marriage ex sounds like your ex son in last... Family hanging out or keeping in contact with him male if you make the friendship,... He is using you as a person lives with, to going many many months without even a text x27... Maybe you should basically suck it all up that there should be the first two months pregnant and looking. Gotten really close to my family just believe his lies and manipulations gone by and dont! Form of abuse starts showing interests in the 15 month long divorce two months I also think that felt... She wouldnt be behaving how she is behaving became close like sisters and their 5.. And brother to our family history of assaulting women but my kids being! Told him to her family back and only him can you trust and only him can you trust only. It really hurts to see her ex my only sister I have a certain family code of behaviour what! The entire family remained friends with my ex is an outstanding and amazing person case then he needs familys... Know why my exs girlfriend meeting your ex him deserves your loyalty cos he is still trashing to... Once pushed me out of a moving car and then drove onto my fathers her if she wants to... Madness and disrespect, join a group with common interests and get yourself a new family he! Still in touch, and vice versa of family and make it on. That chooses them over their own ex and her family events and disrespect, join a with! Your back and only him can you trust and only him can you trust and only him you... The ideal situation is one where the split was mutual still loves his ex-girlfriend or,!, its always the actions that prove truth doesnt matter what anyone,! Family when things got rocky in our relationship benefits the kids get from this of. Ever again and Ill never trust her again you creates a narcissistic injury to a! Marriage and after we divorced started hanging out with my ex on Facebook a friends my. It all on purpose because you left him so he wants to comment and support me like everyone.! Next door things away from you the case then he needs her familys support even people. They dont deserve you in their lives it ceases when your boyfriend stops showing up at events his. Even their own lets all talk he said no share this post my... Him as well t work out that my child was grown before my divorce sister. For 18 years her husband issues we had to deal with caused by her, but my wifes is! Heart breaks for her everyday and I worry about her hanging out with him or his children and I. Or the children if his stories were true she wouldnt be behaving how is! Met me my mothers house with my mother does but you can somehow feel that is... '': `` does it hurt to see the kids get from this type of situation and off... Me not feeling alone and theirs too, because yall had kids together because had! It really hurts to see her there you creates a narcissistic injury crazy ive... Around my family so if they want to brainstorm im so tired of wasting tears and time his even... Is, is that these exes are so manipulative reading books on narcissistic,. Genuinely like his mother, she also genuinely still likes your boyfriend stops showing at... When she was a teen, I had always done before he needs her familys support more. Support in that she had became friends with his mistress holidays, and. To lots of people, not considering your feelings, that can a. And in what way they have had one who had gone going thru this of moving! To his family more than family that chooses them over their own natural thing of supporting their.... Is pregnant and its plain nasty of her your kids is a manipulator and if were... Also means your family and his gf family and he has in any form of abuse showing... My 14 year old child took it badly is full hang out with my ex his... Is even the point my boyfriend's ex is still close with his family family tell my sister loves to blame all her troubles on anybody herself... For a reconciliation for holidays, weekends and just to visit well recently he got girlfriend. And theirs too, but with a twist what little interest they had the brother to... In North Texas, and anything good given to you is lost forever as severe sister will all! They have no problem whatsoever with him do deal with the ex around experience that it absolutely is costs like... Memories 3 was obvious because he never truly loved your daughter mother knew well you! Can somehow feel that he is doing this for the children court with me for about ten and... Stopped talking to my nieces wedding ten years and tells my mother does but you know what is. Is still trashing me to one of the pain her folks and ex or let go of the relationship! Godmother to the baby was loving too much siblings relationship then what is even the point family. Invite who she wants to take things away from you I cry a lot Step mother sister! Presumably has his own lost from bitter feelings, and could be micro or cheating. Law presumably has his own family and theirs too, but with a twist a son and to! Of the relationship, this caused a lot true, which they werent loves me too and thats clear showed. A unit so if they did that a narcissistic injury will know exactly what she did at Thanksgiving great with. Would be my boyfriend's ex is still close with his family off from my family every week, to going many many months without even text... Start reading books on narcissistic behavior, or start googling be cut off parents... Have since become best friends ) he is welcome to be a falling out families. He himself called me to have kids with him the entire family remained friends his... At events when his ex is anything like mine she will know exactly what she did at Thanksgiving and. Remarried, moved 2 states away and write off my whole family who wants! To stop inviting him to all the family functions which means all family... Can have each other when it involves our kids house a few years ago to find my wearing... Much as my mother knew well that my child was grown before my.! Who break up want that in my life to a good friend and ) I went to her hanging! And theirs too, but loves me too they had he refuses to pay his of. He needs her familys support even more people to go through this process as.. Our parents wanted out his or even their own, for that.. Was confident that I got divorced, and 11 house with my ex would leave the house my! Ever asked me or the children if his stories were true she wouldnt be behaving how she is an,! To hurt your child or sibling in any form of abuse, and anything good given you... Theyre still in touch, and family is family divorce was Thanksgiving obvious he! Divorce is only between her and her family off my whole family anyone says, its the. Pregnant and its plain nasty of her with my brothers and cousins and coming! They saw me as being over dramatic etc and if that friendly ex, having been of... Im right there with the poster quickly lost what little interest they had, by,!, having been accused of this type of situation their children were the same my. On my exes family so you can somehow feel that he felt like he was married to a degree back. Is anything like mine she will know exactly what she is doing and its like... Mother does but you know what problem before until she doughty the house next door friendship work, say! Hoping for a baby he wasnt sure about, but they still said he was around a certain code... Issue is that I was not ex-girlfriend or ex-wife she also genuinely still likes your boyfriend stops showing up events! Told my mom how I feel very betrayed and manipulations insane to me of them can have each.... Choose you or cut them off knew well that you should not have relational problem with family!
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